World In Motion

Lake Hogan-photo by Libby Fife

While on my walk this morning, I stopped for a minute to savor the silence. For it being Memorial Day weekend, the lake is pretty empty. As I was standing there I looked around and considered how everything I could see seemed to be reaching in some way. Sounds funny but I bet if you walk out in your yard or even on the street you will start to notice that many things, including inanimate objects, seem to be in some kind of directional motion. Trees and their branches, grasses, the wires of a fence, and even the road you are standing on all seem to be reaching and running and moving in one direction or another. I am not suggesting anything profound here but it seems like all of us are constantly compelled to move somehow, to look forward or backward, to reach up for something, to sway or to walk, or simply to look up into the sky and wonder. Growing, stretching, craning our necks or stalks or stems. It sounds odd but it made me feel closely connected with everything I was seeing. And that felt profound. 

Libby

Good Moods, Bad Moods

Yesterday would have been my mom's 82nd birthday. She passed away suddenly last year on May 1st. As I was looking at Facebook today I saw that several people had posted on her timeline to wish her a happy birthday. I had the feeling that they didn't know she was gone. That of course got me thinking!

Last night I was reading my Inner Compass book (written my Margaret Silf). The chapter had to do with sorting out our "moods." One set of moods goes along with the general human condition: good moods and bad moods. The other set of "moods' is really your spiritual barometer and stems from whether or not you are moving closer to or away from God. The premise is that through careful prayer and reflection a person can see how to steer their course in the right direction, no matter the obstacles in front of them. Ever forward right? 

How does this relate to my mom dying and those birthday wishes on Facebook? In her book, Silf suggests a nightly examination; a kind of reflective prayer. One of the ideas is to think about not only how God might have been present in your life that day but also how you may have brought the presence of God into someone else's life as well. This can be done in one way by sharing some part of yourself with another person. I considered that the people wishing my mom a happy birthday were doing just that. They were trying to share themselves with my mom on her special day; to be closer to her (and in my mind and in my belief system thereby bringing themselves closer to God.) I also thought that it was a shame that those well wishers seemed not to know that she was gone. (It should be noted that there was no service for my mom when she died. She and my dad wished for that.)  There is obviously a missed opportunity here. How often do you try and share yourself with someone else? To share the true and honest and best parts of yourself? It really made me think that this sharing should be as often as possible and in whatever way was necessary. An active and concerted effort. 

As for the birthday wishes on Facebook I can only say that if there is someone you want to talk with why not get up and do it right now if you can?
Libby

It's a Small World After All...

Yesterday, while in the Bay Area, I decided to do my grocery shopping. After loading my car and returning the cart, I got ready to back out of my space. The parking lot was very busy and I had to wait. Finally, as I started moving, I noticed a woman approaching my car. Truthfully, I was irritated that she appeared to be headed right for me and would be walking right next to my window as I was trying to move my car. Then as I was sort of stewing a bit, she approached my car and knocked on the window. Years of living in a semi urban center have made me hyper aware and so I wondered what this woman was going to ask for. Nothing but to say "hello" to me as it turns out. I knew her, you see. The lady was someone I worked with many years ago, nearly 20+ years or so to be somewhat exact. I took one look at her closely and got right out of my car. She looked as if she had been or was currently sick. After some discussion, she told me that she had had cancer (this was the third time as a matter of fact) and that she was all done with treatment. She underwent chemotherapy. (Even writing this word makes me a little sick.) In any case, she told me a bit about her family and then said that she had to get going. I told her that I was really glad to see her, that she was still here and doing well. What else could I say?

Seeing this woman rattled me a bit. I nearly cried on my way to my next stop. What are the odds of running into someone that you haven't seen in so long? I don't live in that area anymore. I thought with a shock that this was probably the last time I would ever see her again. It's not that dramatic but more realistic given where I live now and her age and health status. 

Seeing her really made me think. I had such an emotional response. Had I said enough to be of benefit to her? Did I say the right things? Moreover, was God trying to tell me something? (Writing that seems so literal; like a whisper in my ear maybe.) Without disrespecting anyone else's viewpoint, I don't believe that God literally moves people around like chess pieces. So, I don't believe that God placed this woman in that spot for my benefit or for hers. After some thinking on the way home, the most I can say is that perhaps the answer lies in what you come up with after the fact. How do you interpret an event and your reaction to it? I felt that seeing this lady was of benefit to me. That it was a call to pay attention, to reflect, and to appreciate the length of time that has passed; a call to imagine someone else's circumstances. And finally, it occurred to me that the world, for all of its vastness and complexity, can be very small and very simple. What a lovely gift.
Libby

Close, Far, Together and Seperate

View from 26 on the way to Moke Hill 1/15

Two things:

I start nearly every morning now with the awareness that I am alive. Recognizing that I am awake and functioning and thanking God for this miracle is part of my morning routine. I try to do this every day and most days I am successful at remembering what to do. Though I am Jewish, I learned this practice from reading a book on Jesuit life and theology.  It isn't that Jews don't engage in this kind of "prayer"; it just so happens that I learned how to do it by reading a Roman Catholic centered book. I have no prejudices these days about where or how I get my info or how I jump start my awareness.

I also start each morning by reading "news feeds." The feeds are mostly art related but some of them have to do with religion or philosophy, life and morality- in a very broad sense. I read this post , written by a Jesuit author, this morning. The post deals with the idea of public and private spaces, how children share a common need of belonging, and how people can have such radically different paths in life yet still manage to find each other. (And be found.)  In looking for "evidence" of God's presence, I am beginning to think that one of the best places to search is in the interactions between two people or groups of people. How we relate to one another, what we do for each other, and how we are present in the lives of those all around us. Even if the places seem unlikely or the people in them seem mismatched, there is still some underlying commonality that makes you aware of the presence of something greater. Just take a look:)

Libby